Becoming Lifelong Friends: Our Story

It all started in kindergarten. The year was 2000. On the first day of school, a bright-eyed, blonde 6-year-old walked into the room ready to tackle the day. She was already independent (as independent as a 6-year-old could be), and stopped in her tracks. Why? Because she saw this beautiful little 5-year-old girl with brown hair, probably playing with everyone because she was already popular and had a ton of friends.

Becca, the blonde, was in awe. She thought this girl in front of her was the most beautiful girl in kindergarten. She instantly wanted to be her friend. After school, it was all she could talk about. She ran home and told her mom she met the most beautiful girl but didn’t manage to get her name (I bet she was too nervous).

As it turns out, that little girl was Anna. And even though they didn’t become best friends yet, a friendship was born.

How We Became Lifelong Friends

That’s how the beginning of our twin flame friendship started. Anna and I went to each other’s birthday parties when we were 6, 7, and 8. We were school friends. But being in the same class in 6th grade sparked the beginning of our best friendship. We sat next to each other in Mrs. Donawerth’s class at O’Neill elementary school. And the rest, as they say, is history.

We had complementary personalities, similar senses of humor, the same interests (the arts), and we just had the best time together. We still have all those things.

In elementary school, our definition of friendship was different, but we both immediately knew we were in it for the long haul. We talked about being best friends forever. We made contracts so that if we ever got mad at each other, we would tell each other and fix the issue immediately. We built emotional safety and trust in a way that I don’t think either of us had experienced before. That was the basis for how our friendship began.

As we grew up, we started going through hard times; things we didn’t understand. Whether it was family trauma or we started showing signs of mental health issues, we had a lot going on. Some kids don’t talk about these issues or they pretend they don’t exist. Anna and I are a little different than that. We like to talk. A lot. We’d talk all day about our issues and about everything going on. And even though we didn’t always know what to say to each other, we always knew how to listen.

Building trust and emotional safety

So, if the question is, “How did you become lifelong friends with each other?” The answer is honesty, trust, emotional safety, and listening. We definitely wouldn’t have called it those things at the time – we didn’t have the language for that yet. But being best friends with someone is about fostering connection. And the only way to do that is to talk to each other, listen to each other, and try to be a safe space for your friend.

Be honest and listen to each other

Going into high school, we had a solid foundation. We already trusted each other implicitly. That doesn’t mean we hadn’t made mistakes as friends, we had. But because we trusted each other and loved each other, it was easy to forgive each other. Easier than it’s ever been to forgive someone in my life.

In our late teen years, we continued experiencing trauma and hard times. We were there for each other at our lowest points. We witnessed all the drama – the boyfriends, the fights, the friend breakups. Everything. And having to go to college after that and not seeing each other every day? That was hard. That was the first time our friendship was tested.

The First Time Our Friendship Was Tested

When we both moved, Anna and I talked as often as we could, but we were living very different lives. I was in college, going to school, and Anna was living in Pennsylvania making her dreams happen as a musician. She jumped right into the workforce, while I definitely did not.

For some reason, being away from each other made it harder to communicate. It was harder to tell each other everything. We just didn’t have the time. And sometimes, when things were going very poorly in my life, I was too embarrassed to tell Anna. Around my sophomore year of college, when we had communicated just a few times that year, we finally realized that when we “hibernate” from our friendship…that’s when something’s really wrong. That’s when our depression is at its peak. And that was when feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy started affecting us.

Finally, after realizing the issue, we tried our best to talk as much as we could. But again, life was busy. And we also had a few fights – nothing huge, nothing vastly different than fights we’d had in the past – but since we didn’t have to see each other every day, we didn’t have to confront the fight. We could hide. I could hide. My instinct to run away and hide, which had always been there, started to get worse.

College ended. I moved back home to live with my then-boyfriend, now-husband. Anna moved back home to live with her mom. And we were in the same time and place again. I could finally breathe a sigh of relief and get back to actually seeing my best friend.

Reconnecting With a Lifelong Friend

It wasn’t necessarily as easy as that, however. Since we were in a routine of talking to each other haphazardly, we didn’t necessarily see each other a lot. We obviously hung out more than we had during the college years, but the best friendship was still…on hiatus, I suppose, for lack of a better term.

But then, one day, when I was getting gas at a Mobile station near my house, I got a call from Anna. I picked up and she was so happy. She said, “I have the best news, and there’s no one else I really want to tell right now.” I cried (which is saying something…I never cry). I was so happy. We were connecting again and this friend of mine, who had always been someone I considered a soulmate, was succeeding.

From there, we started to talk every day. And hang out weekly, if not more. And that’s how our friendship has continued to grow in the last 5 years. We’d co-work together, talk ad nauseam about whatever is going on in our lives, and also just sit in silence sometimes while we’re on our phones. We’ve also both been very committed to self-development and growth – both being in therapy, and working on our mental health. So, if I had to say how we continued to stay best friends over the years, even when we were tested, I’d say it’s because when we’re growing, we’re growing together. And we’re giving each other space, love, trust, and emotional safety.

Have a burning question or need advice on a friendship? Ask us! Comment below or reach out to us at highschoolbeefpod@gmail.com.

You can listen to our episodes anywhere you find podcasts, and if you enjoy them, please leave a rating and review!

Follow us on Instagram and Tiktok @highschoolbeef.pod.