Cyberbullying: From Myspace to Formspring to Facebook
Growing up in the age of social media, much of the teenage drama took place online. As millennials born in the mid-90s, Anna and I were raised in an interesting time. Social media (and really, the internet as a whole) was born at the same time as us, and we grew up in the beginning era of the internet as we know it today.
There were new social media sites popping up almost every year of our school years during middle school and high school. And as kids? Well, we loved the opportunity to tell everyone in the world what we were thinking and show off how unique and quirky we were, hoping it would bring us popularity (or in my case, I was hoping for even fame).
However, what we didn’t account for (because we were children), was that putting yourself out there also meant people could comment and say whatever they want anonymously and hide behind a screen. And cyberbullying was born.
*Trigger warning: Mentions of bullying, harassment, fatphobic comments, mental health, depression, and suicide.*
Social Media Teenage Drama
Let’s review the timeline before we get into our cyberbullying experiences.
Late elementary/middle school: Myspace
Middle school: Facebook
Early high school: Formspring
Middle high school: Snapchat
Late high school: Instagram
Looking at that timeline reminds me how wild it is that we happened to be born during the dot-com era. Our generation (us later millennials) were the guinea pigs for growing up with social media, and to be honest, it didn’t go well.
In our eighth episode, we dive deep into our cyberbullying experiences. And although there was plenty of teenage drama on Myspace and Facebook, the main site where Anna and I experienced cyberbullying was Formspring (now, thankfully defunct).
On Formspring, people could write anonymous questions and comments. When I was 15, I was so excited to learn about any secret admirers, and talk about my experiences as if I was a celebrity on a talk show revealing my “morning routine” or my songwriting process (because, obviously, everyone was interested and needs to know).
Cyberbullying Was Born
The reality ended up being different. No secret admirers or curious people wanted to ask me about my life (which I was dying to talk about and share). No. Instead, people went to Formspring to bully – telling me and Anna that we were ugly, fat, attention-seeking whores. (Man, even writing those words while I sit behind a screen hurts my childhood self. I don’t know how people can say those things to other people, especially as kids.)
I remember watching this movie in high school with Emily Osment, called Cyberbully. It was about a teenage girl who was a victim of harassment online, and in the end, she attempts suicide but ends up getting the help she needs. This movie was revolutionary. It was one of the first times in media that audiences got to see the effects of growing up during this social media era. I felt seen after watching it because of my experience on Formspring.
In fact, Formspring is defunct now because it was linked to several teen suicides, a heartbreaking truth that Anna and I had to witness when we were in our formative years. And if you read our blog on our friendship, you’ll know that Anna and I both struggled with mental health issues and trauma, a fact which Formspring made worse and worse.
Mental Health Struggles and Social Media
I don’t want to belabor on comments people said to Anna or me over a decade ago. But, I do want people to remember that there are real consequences to teenagers having unmonitored access to social media. Mental health issues like depression have only become worse and have become prevalent for such young kids who have no idea what mental health even is and how to deal with the trauma.
When I was a teenager, I felt like the drama I was experiencing was often belittled and seen as cute just because of my age. But that was at the beginning of my lifelong struggle with depression (which didn’t only occur because of social media, but social media definitely didn’t help).
What do I wish I could say to my younger self?
This sucks, and it’s not right or okay to be treated this way
You do have some level of control over how people treat you – meaning, please delete your social media
Be extra careful about who you allow in your online world
What you’re experiencing is hard for anyone to deal with, even adults. Just like when you’re physically sick, when you’re mentally sick you need to see a doctor. Let’s get you some help so you don’t have to go through this alone. There is no such thing as “powering through” – that just means refusing proper help, which only hurts yourself.
What do I wish I could say to the adults in my life at the time?
Notice the signs – serious mental health issues are forming and when that happens in children, they rely on the adults around them to help
It’s your responsibility to care for the children in your life
Teenage struggles are just as real as anyone else’s, no matter their age
Monitor and pay attention to what children are experiencing online because it can have dire consequences
Hateful people and bullying are nothing new. But the degree to which kids have to deal with it in the modern day is massive and on a whole other scale than our parents imagined. It’s haunting and something that can (and probably will) hurt for years to come. If you know any teenagers, talk to them about social media and cyberbullying. Talk to them about mental health and help guide them through their formative years. That is, after all, your job as a caring, loving adult in a child’s life.
Have a burning question or advice on social media or cyberbullying? Ask us! Comment below or reach out to us at highschoolbeefpod@gmail.com.
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